CD Release Party

Okay, here are some details about our upcoming CD release party.  It's going to be at Crowbar on January 18th, 2013 so go ahead and make your plans.  This show is going to be one for the record books!  We are going to be doing all sorts of stupid and interesting things for your entertainment.  Joining us will be DieAlps!  and Bangarang.  The poster below is full of the primary info about the show:

Big Finish

Hey, we'll be playing an all ages show on Sat. December 29th (tomorrow actually) called Big Finish at Transitions Art Gallery in Tampa.  It's an early show (Doors at 5pm, Johnny Cakes on ~7pm) so get there early to catch all of the fun.  It turns out that this will be the last show ever at Transitions, so you really should come out.  The venue is not exactly going away, but it will reopen with a new owner under the name Epic Problem.

Anyways, the show is going to be awesome.  Here is the poster (although there are a few changes to the line-up, see below):

Waxed Curbs, Nothing in the Dark, and Criminal Culture dropped from the show.  But, Ugly Spud and The Great Repression have been added.  See you there!

1st Review of New EP

DJ Sizzly has posted a review our new EP and he is very kind:

"There's a total of seven tracks on the EP. Four absolutely superb tunes and three snippets of their manager spewing hilarious amounts of vulgarity."

Go read the full article and while you're at it check out some of the music that DJ Sizzly is playing over at his site.

2 New Johnny Cakes Releases- Free Downloads

Alright we have two new releases out right now.  One is the our new EP called Apocalypso Now! and the other is our live album called Prepare to Be Disappointed.  Currently, you can download both of them for free from our bandcamp page or from these links below.  We have it set up to name your price, just put $0 in to download for free.  Of course if you want to pay us a little for them we won't mind!  As always we promise to use your hard earned money as foolishly as possible.

Keep in mind, this is just a taste of what's to come.  Our full length album Curse of the Unsinkable Ship comes out January 18, 2012 (CD release party is at the Crowbar in Ybor City).

EP Concept Art

Hey, the new EP came out yesterday.  I thought I would share some of the concept art we used in the creation of the cover of Apocalpso Now!  They were all intended to feature Skippy, but we went a couple of different ways with it.

This was the first idea:

This one was made up by our old bass player Josh Burke.

Here is a hand drawn rough sketch for Dr. Strangelove parody.

Here is a mock up of that same idea with Skippy as a lady.

End of the World Party

Come join us on December 21st in Dunedin, FL at Eddie's for our End of the World Party (aka Oh Shit It's the Apocalypso!).  Joining us will be our good buddies UNRB.  This show is free.

Note:  We don't hold any stock in the notion that the Mayan calendar is predicting the end of the world.  We're just intending to party so hard that the world ends.

Last chance to dance?

Upcoming Releases

Yes, you read the title correctly.  It says upcoming releases as in plural, more than one.  We haven't put out anything new in a while besides the odd single here and there (a few Thanksgiving specials and some songs for comp CDs), but that is about to change.  We are about to put out three new releases for your listening pleasure/regret (you will not be able to unhear any of it).

Of course we are putting out our full length album.  It's going to be called The Curse of the Unsinkable Ship and it is going to be "great".  We're finishing up the artwork now, but all the tracking, mixing, and mastering is done (basically everything that goes into the actual recording).  We're working with our manufacturer now, but the album should be dropping in early 2013.  The new album contain 15 tracks, 11 of which have songs on them (the other 4 are the regular Johnny Cakes nonsense that we think is hilarious and the tracks continuing the masterful story that was begun on our last album).  Below is a piece of concept art that Mikey OD made for the album.  The final artwork is pretty different, but we like this design too so we decided to share it here:

Yo, this is concept art fool.  The real stuff will be coming out shortly.  

The second release is going to be an EP tied into the album.  It will contain tracks from the same recording session as the album including one of the "singles" (which for us means one of the few songs that's not riddled with curse words) plus a few songs not found on the album.  I don't have any concept art to share for that one yet, but it's going to titled Apocalypso Now! and it will also feature a few monologue tracks from our "lovable" manager Skippy Apocalypso.

The third release is actually something we've been inadvertently working on for years:  A Johnny Cakes live album.  It contains songs from a number of different periods of the band and features a whole lot of different band members.  It's pretty neat and it appropriately titled Prepare to Be Disappointed (Live).  The cover photo was taken by our good buddy Mike Plante at Foreign Feeling Photography.  It contains 12 tracks including a few rarities and a cameo by Tampa's own Danny Smooth.

Yep, this one is the real deal.  We were this close (imagine me holding my fingers very close together) to calling the live album Smelly Belly.

Anyways that's what we've got coming up.  Keep in touch with us as we will be announcing more info soon like the album release date, track info, CD release party, cover art, and more show dates.  Also if you haven't had a chance you should get a copy of our last album Rise of the Pink Flamingos.  That link has a place to purchase a download of the album (you can listen to it for free) and it has our upcoming shows on the right of the webpage (double useful!).  Stay in touch, we'll be bothering you with all new material soon.

Size Matters...

We were featured in an article about how to put on a good stage show over at orlandobands.com.  The article, written by Quenton J Sheer, Esq., has some pretty awesome good advice for bands and some nice things to say about us as well.   Check it out!

Rock the Park

Quick update:  We'll be playing Rock the Park in downtown Tampa on Thursday August 2nd.  It's a free all ages outdoor show.  Music starts around 6:30pm and we go on at 8:30pm. Come join us!  More details here.

Pink It Up: Round 3

It's getting towards the end of February which for us means the annual Pink It Up Breast Cancer Benefit.  This will be our third year headlining the event and we have helped raise a few grand towards the cause over the past couple of years.  This year is going to be a good one.

It's at the Market on 7th in Ybor City on Saturday February 25, 2012.  Doors are at 7pm and we are probably playing around 11pm.  The cover is a suggested donation of $7.  Here's a cool blog post about the show over at Suburban Apologist.

Come out and dance:

Local Revolt

On February 11th, 2012 we played at the first ever Local Revolt Music Series, which was an all-day 10 band event at the England Brothers Bandshell in Pinellas Park, FL.  As the name implies, the festival only featured local (Tampa Bay area) musicians and it was fairly eclectic in style which I think can be a great way to build the local music scene.

We played pretty early (1pm), but it ended up being a really fun event.  Mikey was filling in for us on drums and Andy Pilcher from UNRB sat in with us on trombone.  The people who put it all together treated us very well, the stage was large (which is always great for us), the other bands were pretty good, and everyone working there was very friendly.   A few reporters were there who had similar things to say about the festival:

As Labeled:  "The forty minute set featuring steel drum, saxophone, trumpet, trombone, percussion, drums, bass, and calypso guitar was filled with hilarious tongue and cheek lyrics and the wild on stage antics that the bands strong following has come to expect from this Tampa based group"

Creative Loafing:  As JVV of Johnny Cakes said, “If you keep playing local music, keep hosting the events, keep putting it out there…eventually the people will get it, and they’ll come.”

There are also a lot of great photographs from the show.  I'm not sure who took these, but their e-mail address is pooponmyshoe@gmail.com!  Sounds like someone we should be friends with.  A few of the pictures are below:

Skippy (center) is covered in cheap baubles he thinks will impress the ladies.  

I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason I'm hopping on one foot.

A few of us with with the folks who put on the festival:  Reyna Martin and Bob Teets.

Although the Local Revolt was a lot of fun attendance was a little low, which is unfortunate.  The good news is that they just announced the second Local Revolt Music Series which will be October 6th, 2012, which is great because I really like idea of making a bigger local music scene.  I don't know if Johnny Cakes will be involved in this one or not, but I will probably be out there either way to watch the other bands.

Jan 20th Aftermath

We had a great time last week at the New World Brewery with our buddies Magadog and Victims of Circumstance.  We ended up playing a little short staffed (a few horns couldn't make it), but it was still an amazing show.  The sound at that venue is great, thanks to Mark!  Anyways here are some fantastic pictures from the show.  Thanks to Nicole Kibert for taking them!

http://elawgrrl.blogspot.com/2012/01/johnny-cakes-and-four-horsemen-of.html

Here we are screaming about something.  I'm sure it was important.  

So, I know everyone wants to the results of the Johnny Cakes vs Magadog suck off.  Well unfortunately the judges passed out drunk before either of us took the stage.  Of course I say we won, but then so does Magadog. Next time Magadog, next time.

Also, big thanks to Thx Mgmt for putting the whole shindig together.

E-mail Part 2: Monolith

This post is a follow up to my interaction with Jason from Monolith Management who was sending us spam e-mails to get us to hire their "big time" management company.   If you didn't read the first exchange read it here.  It's funny and you'll like it:  http://guttercalypso.blogspot.com/2012/01/e-mails.html

Here is Jason's response to my e-mail.  It's a pretty nasty response:

First of all, your the one ranting about butt sex you fucking faggot. Im not here to waste time, like you've clearly done in your previous e-mail. I hope you realize that your band will never get anywhere with your mind set. I hope you all end up face down in the fucking street where you belong.
Your so called band name is a joke, yet very reflective of your age. Im ashamed that you even got an e-mail from our company.

In closing, I wish that I could meet you in person and bash your fucking head in.

Quit sucking each others dicks and do something worth while.

I wasn't going to post his e-mail address, but because he decided to reveal himself as a violent homophobe here it is.  Feel free to scold him for his rampant homophobia:  jason@monolithmgmt.com

Here's his Facebook page, looks like a real winner to me:  https://www.facebook.com/JasonDstandardtime

Jason Dempsey:  Super cool tough guy and band "manager."

Anyways here is my immature response to his hate filled e-mail:

Hey Jason!I'm sorry that you are ashamed about the e-mail you sent me before, but don't let our rejection get you down.  There's no reason to resort to homophobia and violent threats to voice your frustration.  What would your mother think?  Don't worry Jason, I won't tell when she comes over this week to watch Sleepless in Seattle.  (By the way does your mom prefer waffles or pancakes for breakfast; I'm great at making both). 

Keep trying and I'm sure someday you will be a real manager.  Feel free to use our band as a source of inspiration!  I'm going to go ahead and send you a signed photo of us for you to hang in your office (or on the ceiling above your bed, whatever).  Whenever you're feeling down you can look at it and think about how a down-on-their-luck band like us worked their way to the point where they were turning away scam rip off "management" companies without batting an eye.   

I agree with you about the importance of not wasting time.  We only live once and it's important to live everyday to its fullest.  I'm glad you're getting your priorities straight.  Which reminds me, I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have some difficulties knowing when to use apostrophes in your contractions.  So, I decided to be a buddy and link you to this helpful cartoon that will teach you when to use apostrophes.  You're going to need it when you become a manager:   http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe  

In closing, if we do meet in person and you decide to "bash my head in", I kindly request that you not hit me in the face.  That's how I bring home the bacon.  I'm sure you would prefer focusing on my body anyways. 

XOXO
Ostrich
Johnny Cakes and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso

I don't know if he is going to write back, but I will post it if he does.

E-mails

So just like everyone else, bands get spam e-mails from all types of people, most of these are for boner enhancement or pyramid schemes, you know the usual e-mail stuff.  Sometimes, however, we get e-mails from people claiming to want some sort of working relationship with Johnny Cakes, but who are clearly just after our money. Sometimes I write them back and tell them what's up.  The other day, we received this e-mail from a company called Monolith Management:

Hey guys, 
It's Jason with Monolith Management.
We checked our your stuff online and think that you'd be a great fit for our management company.
We just released our new website that has all the details you need to know about us and how we can help your band become successful at www.monolithmanagement.com. We have 25+ services that are utilized by our amazing managers- this makes us one of the best management companies out there.
We usually require bands to apply to work with us, but we've already checked your band out. So, you're all good.
What's the best phone number to reach you at? It'll only take a couple minutes to answer questions you may have and get you guys on board.
Let's do some damage together,
Jason Dempsey
A&R Representative
Monolith Management

So, this e-mail does not really suggest to me that they actually checked out any of our stuff online.  If they did they would quickly realize that our reputation is more about vandalizing restrooms, exceeding weight limits of stages, and fart jokes than it is about being serious musicians.  A quick look at the website told me all that I needed.  Basically they want between $100-$500 per month for their management services.  Maybe their management services are great, I don't know.  I doubt it since they are spamming us with generic e-mails and I'm not about to start shelling out money to find out:

So here was my reply:

Hey Jason,
I'm glad you like our songs and think we would be a great fit for your management company.  Did you listen to this one about peeing in the butt?  Or this one about butt sex?  Or this awesome video about learning to play the guitar (and butt sex)?  I assume you must have, why else would you want manage us? 

That said, I really don't think we can be associated with the kind of pervert who would want to manage a band that has so many songs about butts.  What do you have some kind of sick butt fetish?  It's okay, we're not going to judge you, but (the conjunction not the body part, can you please stop thinking about rear ends for one sentence Jason) I don't  think it would be good for our image to have a management company that employs individuals who are liable to lapse into an uncontrollable butt frenzy at any given moment.  We're really trying to go after a wholesome family friendly image and I don't think that your preoccupation with rumps is going to help us with that.   

Also, we already have a manager.  His name is Skippy and he is a penguin.  Admittedly, he spends all of our money on hookers and sardines, but he's more of a leg man so he won't be attracting those kind of negative attention that your bizarre gluteus maximus fancy.  I have attached a photograph of Skippy to this message, because I thought you would like it and I am required to do so in every 5th e-mail I send as part of our management contract with him.  Here is a link to his Facebook page.  

I took the liberty of signing you up for Skippy's e-mail list.  He mostly sends out haikus and links to sardine porn, but I though that might help take your mind off of backsides for a little while.
Good luck with the managements, 

Ostrich

Johnny Cakes and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso

I haven't heard back from him yet, but I will update this if he responds.   Here is the photo of Skippy that I sent him.  I think it's a pretty good one.

Edit:  He wrote us back, here is a link to part 2.

Jan 20th Show in Ybor City

We have a absurdly fun show coming up presented by Thx Mgmt on January 20th, 2012 at the New World Brewery in Ybor City.  If you haven't been to the New World, I highly recommend coming to the show.  It is a cool intimate venue with great sound and a fantastic fancy beer selection.  We'll be sharing the stage (or performance area or whatever you call that spot where bands play at the New World) with two great ska local ska bands and friends that we haven't had a chance to play with in a while:  Magadog and Victims of Circumstance.  It's always a treat to see Johnny Cakes and Magadog play together and compete to see who can do the best job of drunkenly train-wrecking their own show.  

On that note, we may have a secret advantage.  Due to some scheduling conflicts Mikey (our old drummer and old guitar player) will be filling in this show for us on drums, which almost guarantees that this show will be a lot a fun for everyone involved, especially Mikey.   (Fun trivia fact:  Mikey is producing the album that we are currently recording.)

Here is a link to the facebook event:  https://www.facebook.com/events/193101270785373/ and here is a link to a cool blog about the show from Suburban Apologist.  

This show is 21+ only (sorry kiddos) and is $8 at the door.  Doors at 9pm, show starts at 10pm sharp. If you need more info just ask Fingers the Clown: